That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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