i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize