Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
What a dumb baby whore.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
