I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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