I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize