I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
