Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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