so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
