Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize