evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
