worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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