his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
