I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
