you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
