i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
