brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
