Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
