We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
