somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
