Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
