we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
