We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
