after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
