he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
