he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
