when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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