I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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