I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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