i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
