Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
