do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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