We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
