Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
