I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
