im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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