Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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