i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize