i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
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