her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
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