absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
