WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
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