you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
