You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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