Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
