Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize