I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
