What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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