Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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