Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize