He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
