So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
