We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
