We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
