Nicole vs. Life
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
