Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
