is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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