shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize