he shaved USA in his pubs
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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