I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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