This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize